You did something brave. You got sober.
But now you’re left wondering—why does everything feel so awkward?
Social stuff used to come easy (or at least easier) when a drink took the edge off. Now? You’re the quiet one in the group chat. The person doing mental math at every party: Who’s drinking? How long do I have to stay? Will anyone notice I’m anxious?
At Greater Boston Behavioral Health, we see this more than people realize. It’s one of the most common—but least talked about—parts of early sobriety for young adults: anxiety that didn’t show up until the substances stopped.
That’s why our Anxiety Treatment program in Boston, Massachusetts is designed to support clients not just in reducing symptoms, but in building real-life social skills that actually make life easier.
These seven tools come straight from our clinicians—and the clients who’ve tested them in the wild.
1. Naming What You Feel—So You Can Work With It, Not Against It
Social anxiety isn’t just “nerves.” It’s layered.
Some clients feel self-conscious. Others feel like imposters. Some fear being misunderstood, while others can’t stand the idea of being seen at all.
In treatment, we help clients get specific. Because the more clearly you can name your emotional state, the more effectively you can manage it.
Instead of saying, “I’m anxious,” you might learn to say:
- “I’m afraid they’ll judge me.”
- “I don’t feel like I belong here.”
- “I feel like I have to be ‘on’ all the time.”
Once we have that clarity, the coping skills we use can be more targeted—and more effective.
2. The Body-First Trick: Regulating Without Overthinking
Here’s the truth: your brain isn’t always your best tool when anxiety hits. Especially in a social setting, trying to “think your way out” can backfire fast.
So we flip it. We start with the body.
In our anxiety treatment program, we teach a few simple but powerful techniques:
- Exhale longer than you inhale. (This signals safety to your nervous system.)
- Loosen your jaw and drop your shoulders. (You’re allowed to be here.)
- Ground yourself with sensory input. (Notice one thing you can feel, smell, or hear.)
These techniques can create a pause—a brief window where the anxiety doesn’t run the show.
3. The Two-Question Reset for Social Spirals
You say something weird at dinner. Or you think you did. Your brain goes into replay mode. Every awkward pause becomes evidence that people think you’re strange.
Sound familiar?
Try this two-question mental reset:
- Did I survive the interaction?
- Did I do actual harm?
Nine times out of ten, the answer is yes—you survived—and no, you didn’t do anything wrong.
This practice interrupts the inner critic without asking you to fake confidence. It just helps you come back to reality long enough to stay present.
4. Micro-Boundaries: Saying “No” Without Making It a Whole Thing
Sometimes you want to go out—but not drink. Or you want to hang—but not stay late. Setting boundaries in these moments can feel intimidating, especially when everyone else seems chill.
That’s where micro-boundaries come in. Small phrases. Low drama. High clarity.
Examples:
- “I’m just laying low tonight.”
- “Not drinking, but happy to come.”
- “I might dip early—just keeping it mellow.”
These boundaries don’t need an explanation. They send a quiet message: I’m taking care of myself.
And for many clients, these small acts build confidence over time.
If you’re looking for an anxiety treatment program in Dedham, MA, we help clients practice boundary-setting in real-life scenarios, not just worksheets.
5. Owning the “Boring” Label—and Redefining It
Let’s talk about the fear of being “the boring one.” We hear it constantly from young clients in early sobriety.
But here’s the reframe we offer: the “boring” friend is usually the bravest.
They’re the one who shows up without the buffer of alcohol. The one who feels anxious—and stays anyway. The one who doesn’t fake it but still finds connection.
Over time, clients realize that this kind of presence isn’t boring. It’s magnetic.
And the people who matter? They’ll see that.
6. Rewriting the “What If They Notice?” Loop
So what if someone does notice you’re anxious?
In therapy, we help clients explore this fear not to dismiss it—but to look at what’s underneath. Because when we actually imagine the worst-case scenario, it’s rarely as catastrophic as it feels.
You might say:
- “Yeah, I get anxious sometimes. I’m working on it.”
- “I’m just feeling a little off tonight—nothing major.”
And most people? They’ll nod and move on. Or they’ll open up about their own stuff. Either way, you stay human in the room.
And that’s more than enough.
If you’re looking for an anxiety treatment program in Newton, MA, we teach clients how to challenge cognitive distortions like this—without toxic positivity or fake confidence.
7. Finding Safe People, Not Just Safe Places
Social anxiety isn’t just about the space—it’s about who you’re with.
That’s why one of the most important things we do in treatment is help clients identify “safe people.” Not perfect people. But folks who make space. Who don’t expect you to perform. Who don’t make you explain your anxiety—or your sobriety.
Safe people let you show up messy. And in early recovery, that’s everything.
Sometimes these people are friends. Sometimes they’re in your IOP or therapy group. Sometimes it’s just one sibling or coworker. But finding even one makes the rest easier.
Bonus: You’re Allowed to Leave
Let’s end on a truth that doesn’t get said enough:
You’re allowed to leave the thing that doesn’t feel good.
Even if you planned for it.
Even if it’s supposed to be fun.
Even if everyone else is staying.
Learning to trust that instinct—not out of avoidance, but out of self-respect—is one of the most powerful skills we teach in our program.
You don’t owe anyone your discomfort just to prove you’re okay.
FAQs About Anxiety and Social Life in Early Sobriety
Is it normal for anxiety to get worse after getting sober?
Yes, and you’re not broken. Many young adults experience increased anxiety after stopping substances. You’re feeling it more now because you’re not numbing it anymore. That’s progress—even if it’s uncomfortable.
Will I always feel this awkward in social situations?
Not at all. With time, skill-building, and the right support, most people notice a major shift. It doesn’t mean you’ll love every party—but it does mean you’ll stop dreading them or avoiding connection.
What kind of therapy helps most with social anxiety?
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), exposure therapy, and group work are all helpful. Our Anxiety Treatment program in Boston blends these approaches to meet your personal needs.
I don’t feel “sick enough” for treatment—should I still reach out?
Yes. You don’t have to be in crisis to get help. Our program supports people at all stages of struggle—from high-functioning anxiety to more severe cases.
Can I do this while working or going to school?
Absolutely. We offer flexible treatment options, including IOP and outpatient therapy, that can fit into your schedule.
Want to feel less awkward and more confident? We can help.
Call (888) 450-3097 to learn more about our Anxiety Treatment program services in Boston, Massachusetts. You don’t have to fake being fine—and you don’t have to figure it out alone.
